I won't go over how things are going with my life since the last time I posted, it's just a waste of time I think. I mean, we all know that I won't post another entry for ages, thus having to do it all over again anyway. So I'll keep it brief.

Suffice it to say, I'm fine. I'm happy. I have a good job. I have a wonderful mate. I live in a nice apartment. End of update. I like to recount my blessings in small ways these days. :)

I dunno if celebrating the holidays are going to be part of me and Agro's top priorities this year. Other than celebrating in little bits and pieces. Perhaps a dinner at home for thanksgiving, exchange of gifts between us for christmas. It's not that we don't want to see family, but the ability isn't there. My work keeps me rather busy, being the funeral industry and all, plus money to see folks is a little tied up in savings and big purchases of things we need for the house or for general survival.

Part of today is devoted to reminiscing, to remembering how I got to where I am today. It's interesting to possess the mentality of retrospection from a third-party point of view. Like watching a movie of someone else's life and constantly having to remind yourself that it's real, that it happened, and that it happened to you. I guess it's a little staggering because, in only twenty-three short years here, I've managed to do so much with myself and with others, it almost doesn't seem real.

Alright, enough of that. I just wanted to let people know that I'm still alive and well in a rambling nonsensical sort of way. :)

Chest! Coroner.

It's early in the morning at the moment. I had to wake up at this time in order to make my embalming class. Today we're visiting the Orange County Coroner's office. That should be fun.

Chest! So, someone brought to my attention the fact that my chest has been featured on that silly LOLfurries.org forum thingie. It's in the thread known as "bad furry tattoos" or the like. Upon investigation, I found myself much more amused than I did angry or annoyed that my tattoo was being made fun of. I guess I attribute that to my patient nature or something. I love how there are a lot of furries out there who enjoy making fun of others. I 'love' this phenomenon because it's just so silly. I mean really, why does one feel the need to drag out things that exist in the world and point out their misgivings? The same thing occurs with some of the artwork that's posted on FA, in the wtf_fa group on livejournal. It's funny to watch hundreds of furries post other peoples' pics and go "OMG, look at this fag." Ahh, classic stuff.

Anyway, that's the end of my semi-sleep deprived speculation. Hope the day finds you all well.

School. Fetish Bible. Boyfriend. Budget. Workout. Tattoos.

I'm thinking of writing in my journal more often. Rather, forcing myself to write in my journal more often. I find that, though it's inconvenient sometimes, it's a good way for people who don't normally have contact with me on a regular basis to 'tune in' every once in a while and kept reasonably abreast of what's going on in my life... Assuming that they actually care. Plus, it's a good exercise for me, giving me a chance to write at least a little bit every day or every other day.

As you may have noticed, the beginning of this journal starts out with a few words that describe what's been going on in the foremost of my mind. I think I'm going to put those words there at the beginning of every journal both to remind myself of what I should write about, and to give people an idea of what to expect out of the journal itself. Keywords, if you will.

1. School. Yeah, as per the usual, I'm still in school. It's going by slowly, but I'm making it. I'm expecting to successfully complete all of my classes this semester, which means that I'll only have one more semester before graduating from the program, and then it's off to working at last! Unfortunately, school has sucked the life out of my desire to be social these days. It's just a lot of work to get done on a frequent basis, which puts people to the side. Interestingly enough, it's not just the fact that school piles the work onto me, it's also the friends themselves. I can't tell you how often I hear "We should hang out more, you should come over or something!" from other people, as if I can just drop what I'm doing and put forth all the necessary effort to get together with other people. I can't blame anyone, it isn't as if I wouldn't like to spend some time socially. It's just that schoolwork gives me very few breaks, and during those breaks I just want to relax and be lazy.

2. Fetish Bible. Biggest financial drain ever. I'm glad I'll be putting it on hiatus for a while, at least until I can get a stable source of income. I love doing it because people love watching it, but I hate doing it in the sense that I have to rely on people who work very slowly, poking and prodding them for every inch. Even after I've spent a sizable amount of money in order to get them to draw in the first place! Oh well, can't win all the time I suppose.

3. Boyfriend. Ah, the best of my day and my time, all of the time. Agro is the best boyfriend that I've ever had, without a doubt. I look forward to many many good years with him, if not the rest of my life! Hopefully, the end of this year will see me moving in with him as I start my career. If you're reading this, Agro, I love you bunches. :)~

4. Budget. Money is always a pain. With the advent of new boyfriend who doesn't have a lot of it and the constant and growing desire to buy things that I want and actually need, things have been tight. It's hard to keep a careful eye on your money with the bank I have too. I was part of the WaMu-to-Chase switch. Though they say that there's no interference in operations as they're switching everything over, I've noticed a few times when updating has been slow, and it's caused me to nearly overdraft a couple of times now due to misreading my bank statements. It's a pain in the ass, but I'd rather deal with that right now then switch over to a brand new bank and thus have to wait for a new debit card, and switch all of my payment plans over to said new account. I'll do all that when I move out of this town, when I have to deal with the hassle anyway.

5. Workouts. Yeah, I haven't said anything about my workouts for a while now. I haven't posted any pics either! Shame on me. I have been working out pretty frequently (though not as often as I'd like during this semester, due to the fact that school has kept me on relatively bizarre hours). However, since I started working out seven months ago, I've a little more than doubled my strength in most areas of my body (for instance, I used to lift only 25 lbs. maximum for bicep curls, now I lift 55 lbs.), I've gained some definition, and I've gained some weight, finally pushing me above my cursed skinny 175 lbs. mark to a good 195. I'll post pictures of my progress some other time when I can remember and find my stupid camera.

6. Tattoos. I'm getting the tattoo itch again. I swear, getting tattoos is nearly an addiction for me. Of course, it's much more than that. I liken the experience of getting a tattoo to receiving the sacrament. It's an important spiritual experience for me. I'm not just talking about the part where I'm sitting in the chair and getting it done either. No, I mean the entire process. Choosing what I want to represent, finding the symbol (either through having someone draw it for me, or drawing it myself), putting it through the careful and slow process of debating whether it is the right symbol for me (this can take anywhere between several months and several years), then saving up the money and going in to get it. I love the whole process from start to finish. It helps define me as a person. My fervor for ink has gotten Agro interested as well, so I've drawn him something that he might like and that I think represents him. I'll post it later after he's seen it.

Well, that's all I've got for today. I hope this finds you all well.

Hey guys. Yeah, I know there probably aren't a lot of people still paying much attention to this all-but-abandoned journal of mine. I'm still here though, kickin' and alive, etc.

Let's see here, what's been going on in my life?

School: The second semester of my mortuary science program is a little more than half way over. It's almost hard to believe how fast the time has gone. The good news is that, this semester, I shouldn't be failing any classes. I've gotten pretty good grades this time around. Honestly, I think that it's due to the fact that I'm not as overwhelmed this semester as I was last. I mean, last semester the whole program was new to me, I didn't know the teachers or their policies very well, and we were suddenly told that we had to take fifteen units of classes and have enough brain power to devote attention to all of them without failing. That's a lot to take in suddenly, especially when you're used to full time being only twelve units spread out through only three or four classes. So there's some good news in that.

Friends: Also good. I've grown a little weary of the problems that everyone's been having lately though. I don't mean that I've grown weary of their problems, I mean that I've grown weary that the problems are occurring in such abundance this year. I can only hope that things get better for all of them sooner rather than later.

Significant Other: Things couldn't be better. Well, that's a lie, things could always be better, but me and Brokenwing have been together for a good year plus and are at least decently happy with our relationship ;) I've been spending as much time as I can with him these days, but it's still tough since we live six hours away from each other. Oh well, things could definitely be worse.

Politics: This recent bout of soon-to-be election politics has gotten me interested in the political climate as of late. Not that this should be surprising, states across the country are starting to report a record turn-out of voter registration, early voting turn-out, and absentee voting turnout. It's actually quite incredible. It's years like these that make me look proudly at all of us as citizens of the United States. We're finally seeing the death of mud-slinging and slanderous accusation as effective entities in politics. People are actually going and getting the information, or being swayed by what the candidates are saying about their policies, rather than what they're saying about the other side.

More about politics, I'm excited about the outcome of this election. However, I'm afraid that I have to put my foot down at the moment on a few issues:

1. If you vote(d) for McCain, you are not my friend. No, I don't care whether you voted for Obama or not, that's not the issue. You can vote for most other candidates and I won't bat an eyelash, but a vote for McCain is not an intelligent vote for this country's future. For one thing, McCain promises more war with countries we don't belong in (which is bad because it makes other countries pissed off at us, which is motherfucking dangerous). For another thing, McCain promises more deregulation of business (which is bad because our economy is in the slump as a result in part by the deregulation of many businesses). For yet another thing, McCain isn't going to make it four years before dying (which is bad because that means Palin will become president by default, and I'm sorry but she's a blithering moron). These are just a few of the many reasons.

2. If you live in California, and you voted "Yes" on Proposition 8, you are not my friend. There are just way too many reasons to state, so I'll stick to a very few. For one thing, none of the reasons that the "yes on 8" crowd state that are accurate or relevant. California isn't telling any churches to marry gay or lesbian couples, it's just allowing them to get married if they wanted to and could find a church or someone with a marriage license that would do it for them. California isn't telling school districts to teach anyone's kids that being gay is okay, especially since there's nothing in the curriculum that says anything about how being straight is okay! Seriously though, telling your kids that being gay is not okay is just giving them a complex that could lead to psychological turmoil later on if they turn out to have at least some interest in men. That's all I'll say about this here.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is simple. If you voted for either of the things I've mentioned above and you're my friend, don't tell me about it. I won't bring it up if you don't. If I find out though, then all I'm going to do is tell you that you're a moron and quit talking to you. This goes double if McCain gets into office or Proposition 8 passes. This isn't me making any kind of threat to convince you to vote one way or the other. Remember, I said I wouldn't bring it up if you don't. I'm simply voicing my honest opinion. I have to take a stand on these issues.

On to more lighthearted topics: So, about a week ago or so, I got a perineum piercing. I decided that I really wanted one some time ago, and got it a day after BW's birthday. :) (Perineum: see gooch: see taint). To pre-empt any questions, yes it did hurt to get, yes it does sting a little while it's healing up, no it's not infected, yes it's fun. I suppose if you guys want pictures, you'll have to hit me up later on.

Yep. That's what's been going on with me these days. Hope you all are doing alright out there in livejournal land. Happy Election Day! :)

Remember.

This, too, shall pass.

The last words to a dying friend who has already passed... Expect them not to make sense to anyone but myself and him... I won't be explaining this to anyone who asks.

I was your only audience. I was the only one who still cared in the end. I'm glad to say that I knew you just as well in life as I did through those frantically scribbled (typed) words. Yeah, that's right, I figured it out. I figured it out and I kept it a secret. Now I know why you would always chuckle after saying "I can't wait until you figure it out."

It's too bad that you and I will never be able to commiserate about that understanding. We kept trying, I know. Communication is a two-way street. Let's face it, neither of us new how to talk to the other, even with the advent of 'lowered inhibitions'. I guess, in the end, that's alright. What little we did manage to share in verbal form was supplemented by what we experienced together in silence.

So you've figured it, eh? That was the secret all along. You figured out how to do exactly what you needed to do, and then discard yourself like some used up tool. I'm glad that you decided to stick around for those few more weeks to tell your wife that you loved her, and that you were sorry you were leaving her in the end. I've known about what was going to happen to you since the first incident. I could feel it like some cold hand held in mind, a constant reminder, though not an annoying one. I had to see you that last time, to say hello. You wanted to say goodbye. You looked at me and asked me. "Hey, what's your name?" By that time, most other words had left you. You and I have always had a silent understanding though, and what you couldn't say, you managed to convey without forming the words you forgot.

I know you might not ever read this, but that's alright. This is more for myself than it is for you.

This isn't quite a goodbye. I will see you again soon. You'll need me to send you off properly, after all.

Until Next Time.

Hey all. It's been a while, I know. Things have been extraordinarily busy.

To summarize, the Summer semester ended with two general education classes down and a B and above in both classes. The Fall semester has started as of last week, and that means expensive books, crowded classrooms and parking lots (although thankfully this is a temporary state), and brand new expectations.

I'm still working out, though I haven't been taking any shots of myself in a while, since I want to wait for a little while longer to show you all the drastic difference in my before shots and what some of my body looks like now. :)

Anyway, in other news, for all you furs out there, you've probably noticed that our beloved website community, furaffinity is down yet again. Which just goes to show that a CODING issue can not be fixed by throwing money at it. If a coding issue could be fixed by throwing money at it, then we'd be alright, since the donation bin for Dragoneer and pals to purchase all of those nice new servers reached 16,000 dollars. Of course, this is not the case. Let it be known, just in case there were any doubts, that the coders (who have seen the horribly messy programming for the site itself) and myself (who was there during the whole Alkora debauchle where the shitty coding was introduced) know that it's the coding that needs to be fixed, and now we have some good evidence towards this. That is all. :)

http://www.vnunet.com/vnunet/news/2221204/senate-passes-fisa-bill

In a nutshell: All of those companies that rolled over and freely gave all of that private customer information to the U.S. government--including all the wire tapping and text message archiving, etc--are no longer accountable for those actions.

I'm not sure if this bill extends this immunity to all future actions by telecomm companies, can someone find out for me? If it does, then this is a big deal, dangerous for all of us little people.

Anyway, that's all I have to really say about the issue. I think it's a blow to the people in the end, since it basically means that no one is accountable for that breach of the fifth amendment. It calls to mind a famous sketch by the recently-passed comedian...



(Start at 4:23)

In life, there is no 'undo' command. All that we say, do, and experience is permanent.

That is all.

Oh wait, no it isn't. I'm enjoying exercising, and life. :)

Now that is all.

For those of you who hadn't noticed, I've trimmed my friend list down a bit. Mostly because I don't really know most of those people/don't really care for those people. I'll leave it to you all to figure out which category they (or you) fit in. No other news on that note. :)

In other news, I am le tired. It's been a long day of getting up early and taking finals. Thankfully, I have only three more final exams before I'm finished with the semester. I'm stoked to know that I've passed at least one of my classes for sure. Though I'm not really in danger of failing any of my other classes, this program really is one of those where you pray to simply pass the classes, and it seems designed that way, even by the admission of the teachers themselves!

So I've been working out every other day since I took those first progress pics. It's been tough for a number of reasons really. It's been painful some times, but it seems like I'm settling into a good niche, and the results are already becoming apparent. No real muscle growth, no, but all of the muscles I've been working out are feeling normally firmer. Not to mention the fact that I feel better overall. More energy when I'm awake, less desire to be lazy, etc. In three days, I start moving up in weight as far as the amount that I'll lift. I'm pretty excited for that for some reason.

I guess that's all I have to report for now. Until Next Time.

So, just because, I've decided to start putting updates on my workout progress up on my livejournal. Now, because I'm not retarded and expecting results super fast, I'll only be posting two pics a month at the beginning of the month or so. It's not a piece to obsess over or anything, it's just an interesting little side-project. Plus, it gives anyone else interested an opportunity to see how things are going with my fitness goals. So, without further ado, here are the 'before' shots:





Oh, and I know I have tattoos, so there's no need to comment telling me that I have tattoos. It'd be kind of really strange if I had absolutely no idea. :I

Let's see here. I suppose there's a lot to go over, since I haven't been keeping this thing up to date in a little while. I'll do my best to keep everything in mind though, so bare with me a bit. :)

So, last night, me and Brokenwing went to the Coachella music festival to see Simian Mobile Disco and Justice perform. SMD made the trip worthwhile, even though we were mostly pressed up against a thousand other warm bodies and had to wear earplugs in order to maintain hearing for days to come.

It was funny, but while in that mosh-pit of people, I had a strange moment of zen. I realized suddenly that the smell of a thousand human beings enjoying themselves was actually a little stimulating. Not stimulating in any sexual way, mind you (perverts :P), but stimulating to something else inside that encouraged me to keep dancing. Of course, 'dancing' only consisted of bouncing in place or bobbing of the head, etc. You get the idea though. It's funny how it was only the smell though. The other thing I realized, was that without bass, a song really has no power to move me. I know this principle is probably the same for most other people, but my desire to dance shifted as the music went with more or less bass (though there was normally always bass, since it was basically in a dance/rave setting). I guess that means I'm attracted to the power in music, a real bass-head is I.

Moving on. School's been rather good these past few weeks. The semester is winding down, so things aren't as immediately stressful anymore. All there is to worry about now is final exams, which are a couple of weeks away. Then there's summer school to look forward to (in a manner of speaking). Thankfully, the summer courses are only a month long, which means that I just suffer through it a bit, then I'm good for the rest of the summer and don't have to worry about those classes again.

Last on the chopping block: I've decided to try a shift in my health status. I found out that one of my friends is a personal trainer IRL, so he offered to draw me up an exercise and diet schedule which would help me replace my old exercise schedule (which is nothing) and my old diet (which is alright, but largely sub-par). I think I'm gonna go for strength building mostly, definition, and cardiopulminary health. Now, before anyone starts going on about how I should be careful and that they hope it's not some self-esteem problem or that they like the way I look already, so there's no need to change it: Relax. I'm not doing any of it because I feel there's something wrong with me. I generally like the way that I look, and I know that others like the way that I look as well, so it's not a self-esteem or appearance issue. I'm also not going to be doing any steroids or exercising myself near to death every time to get results. I know this shit takes time, which is good, because it'll encourage me to keep at the program and stay healthy.

Well, I suppose that's it for now. Until Next Time.

School's been letting up, so I'm less stressed. Good news for all, right?

I don't have much of an update at the moment, since life has quite literally been school. Not that this isn't okay, I mean, it's about time that I buckled down and made something more of myself, right? I do, however, need to post a little rant about taxes and my parents.

My parents always use the same tax guy every year. It's cool, he's relatively inexpensive and seems to give my parents the best out of their money. Some of you, however, may remember my utter disappointment when my parents said that they'd submit my taxes two years ago through that guy (because they're nice) and, for some reason, according to their tax guy, I wasn't getting anything back. It was bullshit, and after doing my own little sample tax thing for that year, I found out that I should have gotten something like three hundred dollars back, but there's nothing I can do about it now until the IRS catches up and realizes the mistake (which they're pretty good about doing, it just takes them a while sometimes).

So we get to last year's taxes. I only worked for a week or so last year before quitting and going back to school, which was the only reason that I needed to have taxes done at all. My parents decided to just do them for me, since they're claiming me as a dependent, so everything's good. I have to sign my portion of the taxes thing (because I had some taxable income) and get a very small amount of return, and everyone walks away happy. No. Apparently that can't happen. Yesterday, I drive down to my folks' place so that I can sign the papers. My dad opens the folder, takes out my packet of papers and hands it to me. The little folder is in my hands for two seconds before I say "This isn't mine."

Apparently, their tax guy accidentally switched packets somehow. I ended up getting the tax packet of some guy named John Donahue or something like that, and mine is nowhere to be seen. So, at this point I'm pretty well convinced that this tax guy is a complete moron and my parents aren't too far behind them. I mean, I hate to be mean, but it's pretty obvious who's tax packet it is, because the amount of annual income and the person's name is listed prominently at the top and in several places on the thing. The thing that boggles my mind the most is that everyone who handled that document between the printer it came from and myself completely missed the fact that it wasn't mine. I mean, all it would have taken is a five second check to see who's it was, but not one person bothered. So now, another packet has to be printed for me, and I have to drive down to my folks' house once again just to sign something that should have been done right the first time.

Needless to say, I'm really annoyed with their tax guy. When I start making a taxable income again, I most certainly will not be going through him. Ever.

That's my rant, thanks for listening. :)

Now, stop me if I'm wrong, but Portal was an excellent game. I don't know a soul who's played it that has disagreed with the fact that it was an awesome puzzle-solving first-person shooter with an engine that actually made you have to think and work to your goal with as little tools as possible. Plus it was filled with dark humor provided by our good friend and most appreciated antagonist of all time, GLaDOS. She said some of the funniest shit that still makes me laugh even today, when I quote something she said from the game.

That's just my problem though. I think that, with very few exceptions, I'm the only person who actually remembers the actual quotes from that game, which are much more entertaining, amusing, and clever than "The cake is a lie."

Look people.

"The cake is a lie." isn't even a quote from the game. It was never once said by anyone who speaks (GLaDOS) and it was only ever written on the walls of those little crawl spaces that you could get into during the game, or saw at the end of the game when you escaped the test chambers. Please, if you're going to quote something from the game, memorize any one of the hundreds of freaking things that GLaDOS says during the game, which are much more intelligent and do actually fill the requirement of being a quoted reference.

Here are some that I've memorized to help you out:

"Please move quickly to the chamber lock as the effects of prolonged exposure to the button are not part of this test."

"If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline."

"Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck."

"While safety is one of many enrichment center goals, the Aperture Science high energy pellet seen to the left of the chamber can, and has, caused permanent disabilities such as vaporization. Please be careful."

I finally got iPhoto back onto my computer. Which means that I can upload pics from my iPhone onto my iMac. :D

( First, some pics of Julip all grown-up. )

( Last, a really funny story behind this pic. )

Nothing real interesting has been happening, but I figured I'd post something up just to let you all know that I'm still alive and still doing well.

Let's see here... School. It's been dominating most of my life at the moment. Finally I have a challenge, the mortuary science program is the most difficult round of schooling that I've ever had before. Nothing in my twelve years of public school and three years of previous college education can even hold a candle to this program. I've had to adjust my study habits to a severe degree in order to keep up, and at first I wasn't doing as well as I would have liked because of how mentally unprepared I was at first.

Unfortunately, this means that I may be getting mostly C's this semester, but not because I'm lazy or hate any of the subjects being taught about, it'll be because of the hole I dug myself and how difficult it's been to dig my way back out again. It's fine though, it's a learning experience. As long as I get at least a C in every class, I can move on to the other classes next semester and beyond, and keep those study habits from the previous semester.

Of course, this doesn't mean that I want C's in my classes, oh no. Finally I'm doing something that I really want to do in my life, why settle for less than my best in terms of work ethic? It honestly saddens me that I may not get better than a C in one or two of these classes because of how hard I'm really willing to work at it. We'll see how things go though, I'm not even half way through the semester just yet after all.

In other news: I've finally decided that putting away some of the money that my folks give me every month would be a better idea than spending it all on things that I really and truly don't need. There are my needs which I take care of with most of the money, but usually I spend some extra here and there for gadgets and toys or commissions for the Fetish Bible, etc. I think it's about time to save up, just in case I'm going to need the money sometime in the near future. You never know when you'll need that cushion. Plus, since I know I'll more than likely be moving again once I'm done with my school stuff down here, I'd have more than enough money to get myself moved with little to no problem, without having to ask my folks for extra cash, a bonus.

I suppose that's about it for now. Until Next Time.

Smokers: I don't care if you smoke. I don't care if you smoke around me. I don't care if you smoke indoors, unless it's in my house. I don't care if you smoke in your car, as long as it's not my car. I don't care if you smoke excessively. I don't care if you smoke socially. I don't care if you spend lots of money every year on your addiction. I don't care that your addiction is damaging your lungs and heart beyond repair.

However...

I do care if you consistently use the world as your trashcan. How fucking hard is it to snub out your damned cigarette, and then take it to a waste receptacle? The list of things that rouse me to anger is very very short, but that one is on that list. Not because I'm terribly environmentally-minded or anything, otherwise I'd be on you more for polluting the atmosphere with the cigarette smoke itself, but to me that's littering, and it makes public places look uglier than they should be, and it just encourages a bunch of trash to lay around for days until the street sweeper or someone who actually does care comes an picks your butt off of the ground.

Enough said. So please, in the future, when you're about to toss your cigarette butt away and step on it, just go find a trashcan, don't be so lazy. :(